Often enough, we have been pressured by family and friends to find “someone” to be our partner, so that we won’t be single especially on Valentine’s Day. By definition of someone, it usually comes to be just anyone. And when we get hurt because we are not a match to our partners’ personalities, we find ourselves lonely, cynical, angry, and #DramaQueens. As holidays like Valentine’s Day and Christmas come in we become even more bitter, hating the world, screaming, “Ayoko na!”
Sweetheart, you need to know that Single ≠ Unhappiness.
Valentine’s Day as the name strongly suggests is only for a day. It doesn’t have to be a march to your death. Ignore it and brace yourself because the next words you will be reading is how to live life to the fullest as a happy single person (plus, living happily this way can be your ticket to finding that match of yours).
1. Love yourself
Most of the time, when we go through a break up, we always say that we will take the time we have had to learn how to love ourselves. However, the moment someone new sneaks up on us, make us feel something special, we forget what we have all planned to do. Just because they made us feel special one time, it doesn’t mean we make it a habit to surrender our happiness at their own disposal. There goes that cycle again. When you say you want to love yourself, then love yourself for real. Date yourself. Talk to yourself, tell yourself your dreams and aspirations. Work with yourself to make it happen. Be the loving partner you have always dreamed of having for yourself.
2. Set standards
While you are in the process of learning to love yourself, you should be able to discover things about your own – the things you love and the things that you hate. By the time that new person comes in, there won’t be anyone sneaking up on you. You will actually know from the very start what you like about the person, find out if you are a match, and you will have a checklist from your standards. Since you are the loving partner you have always dreamed of, the Universe will make sure that new beau or belle of yours will have the same vibes as you do. You won’t be needing your partner to fulfill that half empty part of yours, you won’t be needy.
3. Save up and invest
Sure, a lot of single people are so into their careers just because they don’t have someone to distract them from it. But they spend all their earnings on alcohol and nights out wallowing because they are single. They spend their time with friends who are also the same. Misery loves company. What if you actually discipline yourself to save up not 10% nor 20%, but 50% of your earnings, especially if you’re a high paid creative or a call center agent so that by the time that you meet the right person, you won’t have to pressure yourself to buy gifts you can’t afford to give them. You won’t even feel the need to pretend that you have your life sorted out, because you already do. #DidIt. It will be no problem to start a family, you will have the means.
4. Fix your relationship with your family
Family is the hardest people to be around with. They can drive you crazy and have you running to the institution to be checked in. However, sometimes the very reason why we can’t find that love of our lives is because we’ve been hating on our family, the very people that we should be loving unconditionally. Instead, we expect them to know everything about us and when they say something about us that isn’t us, we go berserk. Loving is a continuous learning experience vis-a-vis accepting change in the people we love. If you are a person who actually dreams of having their own family, practice on the family that you already have right now. Be the mother or the father that you wish to be and be that to your own parents or siblings. Weird huh? How do you expect to be a family person when you can’t even accept the crazies of your original life? Date your mom, drink a beer with your dad, play games with your brother or go shopping with your sister. Look beyond their negative traits and enjoy the fun loving spirits they have. Plus, being close to your family gives you bonus points to being attractive.
5. Take care of your health
While you are single, practice being healthy by exercising, eating a good diet, meditating or breathing. Make it a lifestyle. People who have standards and have their sh*t together is actually more attractive. Maybe it can be a bit intimidating to some, but why go for someone who can easily be intimidated by your lifestyle? Exercising and being healthy physically and mentally can boost your confidence and make you feel good everyday. It will make you feel more special than any boyfriend or girlfriend will ever make you feel special.
You got this!
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